Green Eyed Monster
by Psychodahlia
Summary: Ryo is jealous, JJ is confused, Dee is upset and Drake like cake. Caaaaaaaaaake. Second chapter added. Rating for spanking and language. You have been warned.
1. Green eyed monster

There were very few things that could surprise Drake Parker. Once in a while, something out of the ordinary would happen and the half-closed eyes would flip open for a brief part of a second, but that usually required something along the scale of an atomic bomb, alien invasion, or chocolate cake.  
  
Chocolate cake such as JJ was currently eating. Currently eating and not sharing. Currently eating, not sharing, and making sure Drake saw every damn piece go down his throat.  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"  
  
"What are you, a kindergartener? No! You had your piece, this is mine." JJ turned away.  
  
The occasion for the cake had been Ted's birthday. Birthdays at the 27th precinct were always celebrated with all the pomp required. After all, every cop likes sweet things and the cops at the 27th were no different.  
  
"Hey Kiddies, everyone playing nice?" Dee gave a lecherous grin as he and Ryo walked over, both with plates with huge pieces of chocolate cake adorning them. Drake's eyes lit up and he crawled over to the two and flung his arms around Ryo's legs and began whimpering.  
  
"Eh? D-Drake!" Ryo visibly blushed and threw a glance at Dee, who snickered.  
  
"Don't worry Ryo. He gets like this every time we have an office party. Last year at Christmas, he followed....." Dee stopped as Commissioner Rose walked up to them.  
  
Commissioner Rose was known throughout the precinct for being a creepy, creepy man. His obvious crush on Ryo was the talk of the building and there could be no mistaking his thoughts as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and leaned close to his beloved, completely ignoring Dee's glare. Right before he opened his mouth to give some witty pick up line that would be sure to embarrass Ryo and irritate Dee, he tripped over Drake and went sprawling head first in JJ. The incident was rounded off when it became clear that both had chocolate cake all over their clothes.  
  
And today was the day Commissioner Rose had worn his nice suit.  
  
Dee almost died laughing. "Drake, I'm taking you out to lunch for that." He snickered as both the Commissioner and JJ headed towards the men's room to clean up.  
  
"You're paying?"  
  
"Yeah, hell I'll give you my cake for that." Dee was still laughing as he handed over his cake. "That was just too funny."  
  
Drake gave a feminine squeal and his eyes had a very JJ-like shine in them when Dee handed over the cake. The JJ comparison was taken to the next level when he glomped onto Dee and began snuggling. It was purely platonic, but even so...  
  
"Ack! No! Bad Drake, bad! C'mon, I know I'm sexy, but I'm Ryo's!"  
  
"Yummmm, moist.....so tasty."  
  
"Wow, that sounds so wrong." Ryo twitched.  
  
"I couldn't agree more." The Chief folded his arms and arched an eyebrow. "Am I the only straight man in this precinct?"  
  
Ryo turned around in an attempt to ignore the platonic snuggling going on between his co-workers. "Chief, when did you get here?"  
  
The Chief sipped his fruit punch. "Couple minutes ago. We had a bank robbery on 49th Street. It was nothing more than a bunch of teenagers with ski masks. We cleared it up and came back." He sipped his punch again and wrinkled his nose. "Ugh."  
  
"The punch or them?"  
  
"Both. Gah, Parker, we have rules of conduct at this station! Even if nobody follows them..."  
  
"Chocolate.....so tasty....hmmm."  
  
"JJ's coming back." Ryo said in a matter-of-fact tone. The truth was that this was about to get fairly interesting. The idea of Drake and JJ in a catfight was....never mind.  
  
Soon enough the familiar pounding of size six men's was heard bursting into the room and a very pissed off JJ rushed over to Dee. He came to a screeching halt and paused to stare. "My partner and my lover. I'm going to cry."  
  
"Please do so quietly." The Commissioner strode up fixing his chocolate decorated tie. He narrowed his eyes at Drake, only allowing his expression to relax when he considered the possibility that if Dee and Drake were together that meant Ryo was free for the taking. The commissioner was a very optimistic man.  
  
Dee ran a hand through his hair. "You've eaten the cake, get off me already! Geez. I know I'm sexy and all but still..."  
  
"Yes you are my manly stud!"  
  
"Not as sexy as you'd like to believe."  
  
"Smooth and moist."  
  
"Drake, I am never again feeding you sugar. You hear me? Never!"  
  
"So what will you be feeding him Laytner?"  
  
The chief rubbed his forehead. "Commissioner, that was just...."  
  
Rose put a hand on Ryo's shoulder and interrupted. "Wrong? I know. But so is cheating on one's partner." He pulled Ryo a little closer only to have him pulled away by Dee, who had limped his way over to yank the two apart. The fact that Drake was still attached to his leg made it somewhat comical.  
  
"Who's cheating? Ryo's mine!"  
  
"I don't remember agreeing to that."  
  
"Oh? So the two of you were never....interesting."  
  
"Cake..."  
  
The other three looked down to stare at Drake.  
  
"Too much sugar?"  
  
"Way too much sugar."  
  
"I must agree with you Laytner, too much sugar." Rose sighed and muttered something that sounded like 'been hanging around Adams for too long.'  
  
"If anyone's got a right to be complaining it's me! I'm the one with the straight guy clinging to me!" Dee scowled.  
  
"It might be beneficial for the two of you to work together. I'm sure Detectives McLean and Adams wouldn't mind working on a few cases and..."A chorus of three 'No!'s and one 'Hmmm. Cake...' interrupted him. "This is insubordination."  
  
Dee folded his arms. "We're not being insubordinate, we're just refusing."  
  
JJ's eyes started to water up. "I love Dee, not Ryo!"  
  
Rose adjusted his glasses. "Glad though I am of that, it leaves some questions on your taste in men unanswered."  
  
Dee twitched. "Just what is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"The hell it's nothing you..." Dee started advancing toward but was halted when Drake chose that particular moment to detach himself. Dee's legs quickly became numb and he stumbled right into a conveniently situated JJ.  
  
"Damn you Drake!"  
  
"Thank you Drake!"  
  
'Yes, thank you Detective Parker.' Rose added silently as he observed Ryo's eyes narrowing in jealousy. Aloud he said: "Don't worry Detective McClean. I'm certain Detective Laytner will eventually learn to control himself and act in a decent manner."  
  
JJ threw his arms around Dee. "Never! My Dee is a wild, untamed beast!"  
  
There was a collective "...." The chief cleared his throat.  
  
"Gentlemen, much as I love talking to all of you, this conversation is getting a little too...gay for my tastes. No offense meant, but I've got paperwork so....." He made a beeline for the door.  
  
Ryo twitched as he saw JJ cuddling up to a protesting Dee. He didn't realize his cup of punch being crushed as his grip around it tightened. He did notice it when he dumped it on Dee's head and stalked off.  
  
Dee let out an indignant squawk. "What the hell did I do?" Ryo didn't answer, he just slammed the door behind him, leaving the whole office gawking. Dee twitched. "Damn that man...."  
  
The Next Day......  
  
"I'm sorry already!" Dee yelled out for the fourth time that morning. Ryo continued to ignore him and steadily filed the paper work for the last case. "C'mon Ryo! I said I was sorry, dammit don't ignore me!"  
  
"I'm not ignoring you." Ryo's voice was icy.  
  
'Damn, that's creepy.' Dee jumped as his partner slammed the drawer and went to sit at his desk, behind the makeshift barricade made up of office supplies.  
  
"Ryyyyyyooooooo!" Dee whined. "I'm sorry, please forgive me for not being more firm to Drake when he attached himself to me? Please?" He flashed his best puppy eyes.  
  
Ryo took off his glasses and rolled his eyes. He never was able to stay mad at Dee for long. "Fine, I forgive you....ack! Dee! What if someone walks in?"  
  
"So? Everybody knows....hold still!"  
  
"I just ironed this shirt!"  
  
The door opened and Liza popped her head in. She arched an eyebrow when she saw the situation but appeared used to it. "Dee, the chief wants to see you for a moment. Something about you being late every day this week."  
  
Dee gave a curse and ran out of the room and to the left. A moment later he passed the door again and headed toward the right, the way to the chief's office.  
  
Liza smiled and shook her head. "Man, some things never change."  
  
"Hmm." Ryo nodded as he made a few mental plans about what was going to happen later that night.  
  
"I swear, it seems like just yesterday that he was hanging around the water cooler, hitting on Drake and all the girls. I used to hate him for being so smooth."  
  
"Hitting....on Drake?" Ryo stared at her.  
  
"Oh yeah, he was a real flirt before you came along." Liza stopped smiling when she saw Ryo's face. "You did know that, didn't you?"  
  
"No." Ryo said quietly. "No, I didn't."  
  
"Oh. Well I, uh, have some things to do soooo I'll see you around." She all but ran out of the office.  
  
Ryo sat down to consider what he had just been told. If Dee had flirted with other boys it wouldn't be hard for him to still be flirting with them. If he was flirting with them he could easily be doing other things. If he was doing other things he was probably cheating.  
  
A moment later Ryo rushed out of the office with the intent of murder. Or at least the intent of pain. Lots of pain.  
  
Dee closed the door to the chief's office and heaved a sigh of relief. The old man could really raise a fuss when he wanted to. Stretching, he meandered over to the water cooler when he heard another fuss out in the hall. He quickly popped a cigarette in his mouth and glanced out.  
  
What he saw made the cigarette drop to the floor. Ryo had Drake by the collar and was shaking him and yelling. Drake for his part was trying to loosen Ryo's grip and was yelling back. JJ was off to the side looking uncharacteristically frightened at the outbursts by the two usually calm men.  
  
"Ryo!" Dee yelled out. "Ryo! What the hell are you doing, let him go!" He ran up to the two of them and forced them apart, only to have his partner turn on him.  
  
"You'd like that wouldn't you? Cheater!"  
  
"Chea...what are you talking about?" Dee shouted at the same time someone else yelled out that the commissioner was coming. "God, this is so juvenile...." He muttered. "JJ, tell the commissioner we went out for lunch."  
  
"Lunch was over two hours ago!"  
  
"Fine, we went out on patrol. I don't care, just tell him something." Drake avoided Ryo's fists by lifting him and tossing him over his shoulder, to the delight of some of the female members of the crowd. Panting slightly he ignored Ryo's pounding fists and made a beeline for the door, leaving JJ standing in the middle of the hallway blinking in disbelief.  
  
"What the hell just happened?"  
  
Author's notes: I apologize profusely for the characters acting so OOC. That was not intended but that's the way it somehow turned out. I'll try and do better in the next chapter. Fake, and all it's characters, belong to Sanami Matoh. 


	2. Hit me Dee, one more time!

Dee struggled to keep hold of his partner as he jogged down the street towards Ryo's apartment. Maybe slinging the dark-eyed man over his shoulder had not been the best of ideas; Ryo was a little heavier than anyone would have thought and the fact that he was wriggling around didn't help any. Dee barely got the door to the apartment building open and was halfway up the stairs when he was forced to put him down.  
  
Putting him down didn't mean letting him go and Dee had a helluva time dragging his partner up the stairs by the wrist. Once they were at the door he was forced to realize he didn't have key. Rolling his eyes heavenward he shoved his hands in Ryo's pockets and dragged out a key, earning a slap in the face for his trouble.  
  
"Pervert!"  
  
"Not the first time somebody's called me that." Dee tossed the keys on the bedside table before turning to look at Ryo. "You wanna tell me what your problem is?"  
  
"What's your problem with me?" Ryo countered. "Did I not satisfy your lustful desires so that you had to be a cheater?"  
  
"Cheater...why do you think I'm a cheater?"  
  
Ryo folded his arms and looked away. "You didn't seem that upset when Drake decided to make you his new squeeze toy."  
  
"I was practically kicking him to get him off me!" Dee exploded. "C'mon, that can't be the only reason you're mad." Ryo didn't answer. "Ryo?" No response. "Ryo...." Dee growled at the dismissal. "You can be such a catty little bitch, you know that?"  
  
Ryo hmphed, causing his partner in life and work to loose his temper. For the second time that day he found himself over Dee's shoulder, this time being carted off to the bedroom. "Dee, you bastard! Put me down!"  
  
"Oh, now you want to talk. Too late Lovebug." Dee threw the door open and tossed Ryo down on the bed. He quickly left the room, slamming the door shut. Ryo took a moment to catch his breath before storming out of his bedroom.  
  
"Dee!" He was in the bathroom, rifling through the drawers. When he saw Ryo he almost growled.  
  
"Go back to the bedroom."  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" The chestnut haired cop planted his feet and refused to move.  
  
"I'm looking for Carol's hairbrush. I know she left it here the last time she slept over."  
  
"And just what are you planning on doing with that?" Ryo folded his arms and scowled.  
  
In reply Dee suddenly yanked the drawer out of the cabinet, causing his uncooperative lover to jump. He grabbed Ryo's upper arm and started dragging him back to the bedroom. "I told you before, I hate it when people dismiss me!" He forced Ryo into the room and locked the door behind them.  
  
Ryo made a mad dash to avoid Dee's arm and scrambled up on the bed, fending the larger man off with a pillow. Dee ripped it out of his hands and soon had him tucked under his arm. In one swift movement he yanked down his pants and was working on the boxers. When he got those down he paused for a moment to admire Ryo's cute tush.  
  
"Y'know Ryo, if you behave like this again I might have to keep doing this." He called over Ryo's cries of 'pervert' and 'let me go!'. He smiled and tightened his grip around his lover's waist as he raised the hairbrush.  
  
It landed on its target with a loud smack, eliciting a howl of pain from Ryo. Dee resisted the urge to chuckle as he raised it again. After five slaps Ryo was fighting to escape. At ten he was crying to be let go. At fifteen he was simply crying as his bottom turned a charming shade of red. Dee stopped at twenty swats to give his arm a rest and to scold Ryo.  
  
"You gonna tell me what's bothering you?" A few muffled sobs were his only response. "'Kay." He brought the hairbrush down a few more times.  
  
Ryo was in agony. He had snot running down his face and his eyes were swollen from crying and his bottom felt like he'd sat on an oven burner. Twisting his head he saw that it was bright red and Dee showed no signs of stopping.  
  
Unless he apologized and explained his behavior. The feeling of betrayal stopped his heart and hurt more than anyone would have suspected. Ryo was not usually a high-strung or disagreeable individual, he just didn't like the thought of Dee flirting with anyone else.  
  
He also didn't like the way his bottom felt. "Dee....owwwwww! Dee, stop it! Please! I'll....I'll...."  
  
"You'll tell me what your problem is?" Dee stopped spanking and stared at his pathetic looking lover.  
  
"Ye...yes!" Ryo chocked out. Dee nodded and tenderly let him up and guided him face down onto the bed. Ryo grabbed the pillow and promptly buried his face in it, barely noticing when Dee left the room.  
  
He came back a second later and Ryo jumped as he felt something cool and creamy being rubbed across his bottom. He glanced back and saw Dee rubbing some kind of lotion across his rear. He sniffled and when Dee was done, he crawled into his arms and allowed himself to be cuddled. After a moment he told Dee everything.  
  
Dee fell back onto the bed and laughed. "You....you..."  
  
"It's not funny!" Ryo was hurt. He'd embarrassed himself in front of the whole precinct, been rude to Drake, spanked like a kid, and now Dee was laughing at him.  
  
"Ryo, you are so paranoid!" Dee laughed. "Drake is like, one of the three straight men at our precinct...well, okay, he's bi. But he's still dating mostly women and I have no romantic interest in him."  
  
Ryo blinked. "Drake's bisexual?"  
  
"Yeah, you know Timothy, from forensics? Drake's got a crush on him."  
  
"Oh..." Ryo felt incredibly foolish. "When Liza said...."  
  
"Liza says a lot of things." Dee sat up and yawned. "I think she's still mad because I turned her down last week."  
  
Ryo looked up. "You turned her down?"  
  
"Yeah, told her I already had someone." Dee cupped his chin and brought him closer, gently brushing his lips. "She should know that, as should you." He kissed him again. "And I'll paddle your ass as many times as it takes for you to know that."  
  
"Dee..." Ryo wiped his eyes. "Thanks."  
  
"Heh heh. I haven't asked you to thank me yet, and when I do you'll address me as 'sir'. Understand?"  
  
Ryo laughed. "Who taught you to be a dominatrix?"  
  
"I prefer 'disciplinarian'. And if you can stand to hear about my past loves I dated this one guy who would bend me over a couch arm and turn my ass into meatloaf with his belt. And it's not like the Penguin ever hesitated to paddle me either." Dee smirked. "Y'know, it worked pretty well on you."  
  
Ryo blushed. "Well, generally I behave better than that...."  
  
"Yeah." Dee shrugged. "Still, I don't think Carol's gonna get her hair brush back any time soon." He laughed at Ryo's expression. "Hey, hey! If it makes you feel any better your butt turned a really cute shade of red!" He blocked the pillow that was aimed for his head.  
  
Ryo's face was now a cherry red. "You don't have to be so provocative!" They were suddenly interrupted by the telephone. "Hello? Chief! Ahhh.....yes! Yes sir! No, no I didn't....he's okay isn't he? Oh....that's good. I mean of course it would have been better if I'd never....well it's sort of complicated. I mean....yes sir. We'll be there." He hung up. "That was the Chief."  
  
Dee paled. "Oh fuck..."  
  
"Yeah, word got back to him about my tearing into Drake and us leaving early."  
  
"Uh-oh."  
  
"He wants us back for third shift. Probably so he can yell at us."  
  
"He say anything about Drake?"  
  
"Only that he was upset." Ryo buried his face in his hands. "I sure as hell screwed this one up."  
  
"Yeah." Dee agreed. "But don't worry about the Chief. He likes you too much to turn you into soy sauce. And you've got our wonderful Commissioner on your side. You'll have to write an apology and get a reprimand, but not much else."  
  
"Drake'll still be mad at me."  
  
"No....I gotta idea."  
  
Two days later Drake walked into his office to find a large chocolate cake sitting on his desk with the words 'I'm sorry' and a little sad face written on in icing. Scratching his head he looked up to see Timothy standing at the door.  
  
"Hey, you busy tonight?"  
  
Around the corner Dee and Ryo smiled as Drake accepted the invite. "We are so lucky that half this precinct is gay." Dee nodded.  
  
"D'you ever wonder about that?"  
  
"Nah. I never look a gift horse in the mouth." Dee curled his arm around Ryo's waist and guided him toward the door. "You written those apology notes yet?"  
  
"Yes." Ryo nodded. "All done. Including one to JJ."  
  
"That's good. 'Cause if you hadn't...."  
  
"I know, I know." Ryo smiled. "C'mon, lets go home."  
  
End!  
  
Author's notes- I'm not sure if I like this fanfic. Psychodahlia's thought process:  
Wow! Ryo and Dee are sexy.  
So is spanking.  
So is Dee slapping Ryo in that one part where Ryo dismissed him.  
I wish they'd carried that further.  
I should write a fanfic!

And that's how this was born. I'm not sure if I got the characters right, but I did have fun writing so I guess it's all good. I hope you guys had fun reading it and as always comments, critiques, and death threats are accepted.


End file.
